When Mommy and Daddy Just Can’t Get Along


A trial separation is not a trial separation when you see your lying, sneaking, alcoholic of a husband all of the time.

Trying to do what’s best for the kids sucks. That’s right, it blows. Because what’s best for the kids, according to what I’ve read, is if young children see both parents every day. More good news: apparently three-year-olds are particularly sensitive to divorce. Wonderful! As if the regular, daily temper tantrums about brushing teeth or wearing a jacket weren’t bad enough, all of this bullshit with alcoholic daddy is just going to make it worse.

Well, in order for the kids to see both mommy and daddy every day, mommy and daddy have to see each other, too. And not fight in front of the kids. And act like everything is fine. And agree. And schedule. And even eat together most nights.

It’s like still being married but without sex, foot rubs, and enjoyable nights out. And with way less money as we’re now supporting two households. (Speaking of finances, husband just got cable! Jealous. I know we don’t have the budget for it but I wish I could bury my head in the sand and watch TLC, too).

Today mommy and daddy just couldn’t get along. Daddy was mad because he waited in his car for his morning visit because we all overslept, and I refuse to give him a key.

I was mad because he snapped at me while we were putting the kids in their Halloween costumes.

Daddy got really mad when I reminded him that most separated couples see the kids SEPARATELY, and if he doesn’t play nice he won’t have the privilege of being with us anymore. He can have his one evening a week and one weekend day and that’s all. That’s not really what I want–most of the time it’s nice for everyone when we do family things all together–but if daddy’s going to be an asshole then that is what we’ll have to do.

How do you make it work, fellow divorced or separated parents?

How do you do what’s best for the kids but still maintain your sanity, too?