Why I’m surprised by online dating and flakiness, I’m not sure.
Maybe it’s because after everything I’ve been through, I still believe in the overall goodness of people.
That if you message me and we make plans, we will actually meet. For coffee or a drink or whatever.
OkCupid Guy #1: Said his parents were visiting for a whole month, could we get together in early September? He really wants to meet me. Great new pics, he says. Sure. Early September comes. He’s not available until October. Next!
POF #2: Coffee date for 2 pm on Sunday. 12:30, Sunday, text: “I hope I’m not inconveniencing you, but I need to cancel. Sorry last minute!” Ok, what, did you break a leg? Is your elderly dog at the super expensive emergency vet? Then he texts me today saying he’d like to reschedule. Unless someone dies, I am not putting on date jeans and makeup on a Sunday afternoon again for this flake. Sorry dude. Next!
POF #3: Pretty firm plans for a Friday night drink, but he’s a way important hot shot lawyer, might have to do trial work, blah blah blah, will confirm by 4 pm. Surprise! I never hear from him. I put on my party clothes and am three glasses of wine in at a friend’s house when my text beeps at 10:45 pm: “what r u doing?” Um, not you. Next!
POF #5: We set a date for tonight over a week ago. I’m busy, I’ve got them lined up, but this one, I feel good about. And then… He never gets back to me with a meet up time. Nada. Then, tonight, at 10:15, a message: “Sorry, I’ve been sick. Can we reschedule?” Um, dude, there are about 20 more eligible candidates clogging up my inbox. Prolly not gonna wait on you another time. Next!
What is up with this? Seriously? I’m trying to weed them out right this time because, I will be honest, I’ve been in some shitty relationships. I’ve let some serious red flags fly by, because I love people and they love me and isn’t that all that matters?
Being on time matters. Texting me before and after a date matters.
Thinking about me before you see me? That matters.
These dudes are doing me a serious favor by showing me their true colors early on.
This frees me up to go on a second date with Mr. Outdoorsy tech. Who, I might add, has been texting me and does seem to have a firm (and awesome!) date planned for our next get together. We’ll see if he actually comes to pick me up. And if he freaks out when I ID check him at the door.
What, you don’t run names through the sex offender registry and divorce records, too?
- Red Flags, Players, and Online Dating (brokenamericandreamdiaries.wordpress.com)