Me vs. Michelle: Internal Presidential Debate

So, I’m watching the presidential debates, congratulating both candidates for doing less smirking, more active listening, and way less interrupting. Nice job, guys!

Debate ends. Obama and Romney shake hands and smile like they’re old buddies. Then the wives come.

And what am I thinking? Not, wow Obama sure does shine on foreign policy. Or, I sure am glad Romney can pronounce “nuclear” correctly! No, I’m thinking about Michelle and Barack’s amazing marriage.

And I am jealous. And, like I’m sure everyone does, I start a conversation in my head.

Let’s listen in, shall we?

Blogging Mama: “Wow Michelle, you have a great sense of style! And I love your take on fresh food. But let’s talk about love. How did you know Barack was the one?”

Michelle (sits back, toned arms crossed, face lit up): “Oh, there were so many things. He was kind, and funny. He was ambitious. I didn’t know he’d be president, but I knew he’d be someone great.”

BM: “You could just tell? You weren’t worried he wouid… change? You didn’t overlook any serious flaws?”

Michelle: “I have a law degree from Harvard. I can see through bullshit a mile away. He’s the real thing.”

BM: “Yeah, maybe if I’d gone to law school instead of teacher school, I’d be digging a White House Garden too. But tell me more. ‘Cause I fucked this up once already: how did you know he’d be true, kind, and good and wouldn’t drink a bottle of gin in your basement and then lie about it later?”

Michelle: “Um, this conversation has gotten really weird, but I’ll answer you anyway. Barack is possibly the most controlled person I know. He does enjoy himself, but never to excess. He’s a man of moderation.”

BM: “Yes, moderation, that would be good. I wish I’d married someone who could enjoy a beer once in a while, instead of downing a whole six pack in hiding! Good job.”

Michelle: “Er, thank you? Should we talk about foreign policy, Barack’s position on abortion, or clean energy now?” (nervous laugh)