Dating Rules: Who’s Driving?


Who drives on a date?

I have another date with The Banker. And no, it’s not a threesome.

The Banker is funny, thoughtful, and smart. He’s followed up right after each date to say he had a great time and that he wants to see me again. He’s not as stylish as I’m used to–but then those guys (see Mr. Landing Strip and Running Man) fade after the third date when I don’t let them fuck me.

The Banker has worked with my crazy single working mom schedule, and arranged our fourth date for tomorrow. On his turf. At his favorite restaurant.

Great! A man with a plan is a sexy man.

There’s just one issue. He wants me to meet him there.


Blog friends, am I a princess for wanting to be picked up? I have always, without fail, been picked up by date two or three. This is date four.

I like chivalry. I expect it. Logistically, I would rather spend my time getting ready for a date than driving across town. I like to look good for my dates: scented lotion (all natural), a skirt or skinny jeans, sexy push-up bra under a nice shirt, hair straightened, and makeup perfected. I like to answer the door ready and prepared. Now I’m to spend my free evening primping, only to hop in my minivan and drive thirty minutes to The Banker’s neighborhood?

I’m turned off. And confused.

Is he lazy? Is his car a jalopy? Maybe he’s just not that into me? Is he married? Is he testing me?

Once in a relationship, I think it’s fair if things are a bit more equal. One week I go to yours, the next he comes to mine. That kind of thing.

But now? During the courtship phase? I’d like to be picked up, driven home, and kissed at my door.

I don’t know what to do. I haven’t responded to his text requesting that I meet him there. I’m not sure what to say, although I’m tempted to try one of these:
“No thanks.”
“If you want a kiss goodnight ya gotta walk me to my door!”
“Is your car in the shop?”

So, who drives? Does it matter? Thoughts appreciated!


6 thoughts on “Dating Rules: Who’s Driving?

  1. By the fourth date, I’d certainly like a guy to pick me up, but maybe he’s thinking since it’s closer to him that it would make more sense for you to go out there? Sounds like more convenience for him in his mind perhaps.

  2. Nothing wrong with meeting him at a restaurant. And nothing wrong with expecting to be picked up. LISTEN to your gut…he’s not the one. If this bothers you, there’s more to come. Maybe ask yourself if you’re subconsciously looking for an out.

  3. I have no clue the answer to this question but I would prefer to be picked up as well. I have been out of the dating game for over 10 years and recently divorced. Very reluctant to rejoin as I feel like my expectations will be too much. Good luck!

  4. Never second guess your own expectations…however, you can’t fault the guy if he doesn’t know what those expectations are…you could easily throw out the idea to him “would it be an imposition to come pick me up? I kinda like the feeling of old fashioned courtship in some ways”. He may appreciate your forward honestly and be more than happy to oblige your request…or you could use some ‘reason’ like “I don’t like driving in areas I’m unfamiliar with and since this is ‘your neighborhood’ lol ;)”. give him the opportunity to be a jerk with all the information, THEN you know what he’s really made of! Honesty is always best, otherwise you will spend the night irked in the back of your mind that he never came to pick you up! One thing I’ve learned…ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT…if he gives it, he’s a keeper, if he runs for the hills, his loss. Don’t you want him to use the same honesty?

    Oh, and definitely compliment him on the gentlemanly behavior of arranging the date and caring enough to be thoughtful. 🙂 (most guys don’t anymore these days)

  5. Personally, having my own car available = easy escape plan if things go horribly. I’ve been on too many bad dates where I wished I had my car so I could leave when I found myself miserable. I Also consider myself a princess, but I just feel safer having my own ride until I’m really comfortable with the other person.

  6. I have two thoughts.

    First… He wants to see you and second maybe he made reservations and the only time he could get in at his favorite eatery is at a time when he can’t also pick you up. I say just bring it up.

    Second… Maybe driving on your own isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe he wants to take it slow. And honestly, that in itself is a nice change of pace.

What do you think?

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