Safe, Secure, Sexy

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I want a phone call after he touches me. Is that too much to ask?
Can I settle for a guy with no good friends? Can I look past his gold chain necklace? Does it really matter if he opens the car door for me?
And, guys, please, whatever you do, take off those socks.

This is what I think about when the house is quiet and the chores are done.

Online dating has provided me a chance to laugh, cry, and obsessively check my phone. I’ve flirted with cute strangers and made out in parking lots. I’ve played by the Rules and thrown them out the window. I’ve gone out with 15 different men since I left my husband: one I dated for a year, one I just fucked like crazy. Some first dates, a few second dates, and three guys hit the “three date slump.”

All of this experience has been fun. It’s helped me hone in on what I’m looking for. I hope to someday find someone with whom I feel safe, secure, and sexy.

Everything else? I can give myself or get from friends.

Safe
No yelling. No drama. No weird questions or sexual deviance. Someone who holds my hand and helps me hop over that snow pile. Someone who checks to make sure I got home safely. Someone who will make an even trade with me in Settlers of Cattan.

Secure
Call me the day after we are intimate. Tell me you like me and want to see me again. Show me I’m special to you. Make an effort. Pursue me. Like me for who I am. Don’t make snide remarks or try to change me.

Sexy
I want to be desired. Tell me you want me. Undress me slowly. Lightly trail your fingertips up and down my thighs. Send me a random text telling me how beautiful I am. Make it clear how much you want me (without being creepy). Make love to me every day. Kiss me hello and goodbye. Take me to Victoria’s Secret.

Oh, and flowers. I would like flowers.