Family Envy

Today my Facebook feed brought me the images of a family of four, skiing. Old friends of mine. Friends I rarely see since the divorce.

I’m sitting in an airport. Alone.

They crammed their smiling faces, partially hidden by goggles and fuzzy hats, into the camera for a group selfie. White powder glinted behind them.

I’m stretched out on a black arm chair, compliments of Southwest Airlines. My phone is charging, and a cup of Starbucks awaits. Behind me is a family chatting animatedly in Spanish–how I’ve missed the melodic ups and downs of this language. I have the freedom to write what I want, read what I want, and listen to what I want. This is a freedom that comes rarely, being a single mother to two boys under five.

I should relish it. And I do.

But I’m not skiing. I don’t have a full family unit. I couldn’t handle both my kids on a slope. It’s taken me a month just to finagle a solution for taking Big Bro ice skating. But I found one.

So maybe some day I will be able to take them skiing.

For now I will try to enjoy my own company, and wait patiently for a day when I’m able to do more.

For now I will delete Facebook.

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8 thoughts on “Family Envy

  1. Facebook depresses me, seriously, and it probably does with the majority of people whether they realize/admit it or not. I need to stop getting on it. Comparing my unglamorous life as a single Mom to someone’s highlight reel is really not healthy.

  2. A picture of two glasses of wine with two plates for dinner on Facebook tonight with a nice msg to her husband for a few minutes depressed the hell out of me. Then I realized my exhusband never cooked me dinner and never poured me wine. Single motherhood is not easy but to be without “Him” makes everyday worth it. Enjoy your vacation although I’m sure after a good 18-24 hrs you will be missing your boys like crazy… So until then put your feet, pour some drinks and continue blogging. You inspire me

  3. Everytime I get those “annoying” Facebook posts, “Here we are having dinner at….”, Or,
    “Happy Anniversary to my wonderful hubby”, blah, blah, blah…..I think, Yeah, I could have taken pix too at various points in our marriage…..because it wasn’t always a horror show. But if Facebook was a real reflection of my past then it would have been, “Here I am at so and so’s wedding….hoping and praying my husband doesn’t have his 16th drink at the open bar and I can make it out of her without him calling me a Menopausal Fucking Cunt” ” My Facebook life now would read, “Here I am having coffee, enjoying the peace, the quiet…a little lonely sometimes, but that’s just fine with me”

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