Slut Central: Tinder After 10 pm

“You’d better get your butt over here and watch this movie with me! ;)”

I stared at my phone, shocked. Seriously? First, that’s a rude invitation. Second, why on earth would I do that?

Well, I know why some women would do that, but I’ve made it 35 years without getting herpes or raped, and I’d really like to keep it that way.

I punched out a witty reply. “You’re gonna think I’m crazy but I have this policy about not going to guys’ houses if I’ve only met them on the internet!”

A few moments passed. The text appeared, “Yeah, sorry to be creepy/jerky.”

“No worries, I’m sure you’re a nice guy.”

“Yeah, I guess I’ll just have to take you to a bar and get ya drunk first!”

Sigh.

My friends, this is what happens when you Tinder late at night.

I’d had a great day and a busy night. I spent all day Friday with my kids, running errands, playing at the park, and even squeezing a nap for everyone in. That evening I had a second date with a very nice guy I met on Tinder, but whom I won’t be seeing again (another story for another time). I then met up with friends for a beer and headed home at 10 pm.

I should’ve gone straight to bed with my book, but I was lonely. Hungry for interaction. A bit uncomfortable with the solitude.

Ever since I broke up (for good!) with Mr. Outdoorsy Tech, my boyfriend of eight months, I’ve been lonely. Ruminating. Overwhelmed. I know I did the right thing–he was too much work, too much drama–but I miss the regular sex and regular fun times.

So I hopped on Tinder. It’s fun to swipe right and left, and it fills the hours. That’s when I got invited over to watch a movie.

And guess what happened on Saturday night when I logged in at 11:30 pm? Within minutes a guy only two miles away invited me over to watch a movie, too.

What happened to drinks and dinner? Or a walk?

Not on Tinder late at night my friends.

Lesson learned.

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