I’m Sick, You’re Sick: Addiction as a Family Disease

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Anti-alcoholism comic book ad (Photo credit: solviturambulando)

I have learned something new that has changed my life: alcoholism is an addiction.

Alcoholism is a disease.

I cannot fix it. I cannot cure it. I cannot make my alcoholic better. No amount of whining, cajoling, pleading, helping or other actions  can make my husband attend more AA meetings, meet with his sponsor, or work the 12 Steps.

I am the only one I can control. I have a sickness too: it’s called codependency. Being codependent means I want to fix my husband, and that I have obsessive thoughts about it. It’s unhealthy, this sickness.

But there is a cure! That’s great news, because I have been suffering. I can detach, work on myself, and forgive. I can be compassionate and kind.

Working on this now. Practiced this today. I feel like a new person.

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10 thoughts on “I’m Sick, You’re Sick: Addiction as a Family Disease

  1. Your husband has to want the change for himself. You are working toward a great goal. Healing yourself. I have been in the boat he is in, until I wanted to change no one could nudge me toward it. Love the honesty thank you.

  2. ” I can detach, work on myself, and forgive. I can be compassionate and kind.”
    Love that thought. Want to get to that detachment-place so I can do the rest of it, too. Awesome, WriterlyOne! So happy for you! 🙂

  3. My mother has been going to Al Anon for a few years, so I’ve talked to her about it. In my relationships with women, they were always the co-dependent partner, even the alcoholics. My drinking was always worse, and I always needed saving. But, as it’s been stated already, it really is up the the addict/alcoholic. It’s a fine line that can be difficult to balance though, because it is through the help of my family that I am sober today. I don’t know when support becomes nagging, and sometimes the same action or words can be perceived as nagging one day, but support another when the alcoholic has hit bottom. That’s my personal experience. Really, you have to have some degree of selfishness, in a good way, and take care of yourself. I am best for the people around me when I am taking care of myself first because if I’m not healthy, then there’s nothing I can do for them. Take care.

  4. Pingback: Sleeping With the Enemy (On Marital Separation and Sex) | Broken American Dream Diaries

  5. Pingback: Terror is a Foot in the Door | Broken American Dream Diaries

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