I can do this. I’m strong. I have resources.
I have two wonderful boys. No matter what happens with my flop of a marriage, I have two beautiful boys who light up my life daily. I wouldn’t trade any of these painful years in because I have them. I get to shape their precious souls daily. I work so hard to be positive, to be fun, to teach them to be good, nice people. And when I hear them tell me they love me, or give each other brotherly hugs, I know this is all worth it.
I have a great job. I get to mold young minds daily. No job matters more.
I have a supportive family. They help me though this hard time.
And my friends! I’d be lost without them. They keep me laughing, keep me grounded.
I have light and laughter in my life. I don’t need this negativity, and conflict, and uncertainty.
Sure, life would be easier with an intact family. I’d love it if we could work out our differences and if husband could get sober and get his life together. But that’s not happening. And so I remind myself: I can do this. I can do this. Life won’t always be this hard, this challenging.
Maybe there’s someone else out there for me? And maybe not. But I can’t keep hanging on to a broken promise, and a broken person, out of fear. I can do this. I must do this.