Best for the kids?

Quick quiz: If you’re married to a man for, say, five years, who you love, but who happens to have a drug problem, then an alcohol problem, then a hiding and lying about money problem, and he’s been to rehab, and AA, and he’s relapsed four times (that you know of), what do you do?

Well, if you’re 28 and childless, to me, the answer is obvious. You kick him out, divorce his ass, and move on. Right? You deserve better than that. You’ve waited long enough. You’ve paid for rehab! You’ve waited patiently! You’ve earned the income, you’ve lied to cover for him, you’ve prayed, you’ve been to counseling. You’ve waited some more. Maybe he had a bad year. But two bad years? Three? How long do you wait for someone to change?

But what if you’re approaching your mid-thirties, with two small (adorable) boys in the mix? A house, a mortgage, an entire life built around this sham of a marriage, what do you do then? I still lean toward the divorce his ass answer.

Or I did, until it was me. The laundry piles up. You’re tired. You’re sleeping four hours a night, trying to do it all. There’s not enough concealer in America to cover those bags under your eyes. And, oh yeah, your preschooler wakes up every morning asking for Daddy and Little dude jumps for joy when he walks through the door.

Not so clear cut in this case.

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One thought on “Best for the kids?

  1. Wow, I’ve felt this same way…any words of wisdom since this point last year? I am 32, been married for almost 13 years and have an 11 yr old daughter, 9 yr old son & 6 yr old son. My daughter has built up a lot of resentment and anger towards dad and the boys are still pretty oblivious & while hurt in their own ways, still think he is a pretty cool dad…most of the time.

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